Becoming a māmā: Part 1- Infertility

Mahina Made actually started during a really rough time in my life and I hope to honor that time through being real and vulnerable because truly amazing things came out of it!  

In 2014, my husband and I got married ... and like most other newly married couples, we wanted to start our family!  For six months, we tried and it didn't happen.  I was 24 years old and it had never dawned on me that having a baby could be so difficult- I didn't know anyone who had a difficult time conceiving and it didn't necessarily run in my family.  So, I went to see my OB-GYN and got diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovaries), which is a pretty common hormonal condition that can cause infertility.  My doctor was not at all concerned; she's seen it a million times and most times, a simple pill will help your body to conceive.  Phewph.

However, six months of taking the pill... still no pregnancy.  My OB had no other options- I was now outside of her expertise, so I went to see a reproductive specialist who turned out to be such a huge blessing to our family!  Over the next year, I saw her regularly and we tried EVERY treatment known.  I mean EVERY treatment.  Blood test after blood test, pills of all sorts, HSG test, multiple IUIs, 1 surgery, etc. etc. ... it was so tough!  The toughest thing I had ever gone through . Physically, I felt like a failure- as a women and a wife, I wanted to be a mom and couldn't understand why it was so hard.  Mentally, I was so stressed from the bills- the cost of being infertile and trying to have a baby is ridiculous. Emotionally, I felt so beaten and broken- the roller coaster of emotions mixed with the hormones I was taking was draining.  Often times, people don't realize the weight that the question "So when are you having kids?" can carry.

Out of desperation, I started seeing a fertility acupuncturist, who also blessed us in so many ways.  My husband was so great and so supportive during this year.  He came to every appointment and put up with all the emotions I was feeling while still trying to find peace for himself.

We started going to church during this year of trying.  At the time, I didn't know Jesus, but I heard He was a healer and that's what I needed.  


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